MCSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY

Five Signs Your Fiddle-Leaf Fig Plant Is Actually Yen-Lo-Wang, The Chinese God of Death

robot butt

Romantic Valentine’s Day Ideas For You and Your Two Thousand Imperial Concubines

If You Want To Be A Real Assassin, Then You Must Assassinate Every Day

Julius Caesar, How Dare You Cross The Rubicon. Also, What Is A Rubicon?

It’d Be a Real Shame If Something Were to Happen to You When the Floor Turns to Lava

I’m the Guy That Always Knows a Guy and I’m Going to Help Identify the Killer

Escalating Situations in Which a Corona Gets Its Lime

little old lady comedy

Less Popular Characters On Nickelodeon’s "PAW Patrol"

You Can Call Me T-Mobile Until You Feel Comfortable Calling Me Your Carrier, Okay Champ?

Legitimate Reasons Why I Cannot Attend Your Child’s Piano Recital

Let’s Get This Show On The Road–But Only The Road

An Introvert’s Guide To Successfully Navigating A Post-Pandemic World

If You’re A Fan Of “The Impossible Burger,” Then You’ll Love…

Is This A Detail From A Police Report or A Shade In My Girlfriend's Urban Decay Eyeshadow Palette?

Will You Stop Comparing My DIY Time Machine To A Second Chernobyl Waiting to Happen and Just Strap Yourself In Already?

Why I Finally Quit Relying On “All Star” By Smash Mouth To Give Me Erections

points in case

My Only Regret in Life Is Not Petting More Dogs

This Isn't an Oversized Carry On, It's My Emotional Support Luggage

I Am a Public Figure On Instagram

For Sale: Breakfast Burrito, Men's Medium, Like New

Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Championship, But First a Word from Our Sponsor: Toyo Tires

The bold italic

Quiz: Pokémon or Failed Start-up

WEEKLY HUMORIST

As Long As You Work Here, You Have The Opportunity To Be Harassed